Sunday, October 24, 2010
@ 9:21 PM
Haven't blogged for quite some time.. sry people , put it simply, lazy to blog. LOL !

Well.. I guess life's been fine besides the haze for the past few days.. couldn't go & jog.. just noticed my stamina is cannot make it already.
I remembered this line from somewhere.. when life's knocks u down, u get back up & move on..

Tomorrow I'm taking english Olvl paper again despite the fact that I'm having my ED posting. Guess I got no choice but to replace it on a saturday.. sian ! ==
Hope my CI would understand my situation..

2 weeks of posting at ED & OT.. hope I'm going to be fine there. Gosh just 2 weeks then back to a month break before my PRCP.. urgh.. so dreading attachment. Goodness..

I'm thinking about the days ahead when NS comes , wonder how life is gonna be like then..

Anyways things already suck , so I guess I would wanna make life better for myself..
Monday, October 11, 2010
@ 10:15 PM
hey ppl ! I'm back.. been a month of attachment finally over , having 2 wks break before 2 more of wks of tiredness ! LOL !

I guess time really flies , everyone seems to be breaking up , heart breaks & stuff. I feel very sad for everyone whom have been involved in this.

This part of my post is what that's really inside of me right now.
Sometimes I think about it , sometimes I pretend I'm ok , alright.. juz a beautiful nightmare that juz past.
Whenever someone mentions ur name , I pretend I didn't hear , maybe that might helped me a little ? But it didn't one bit.
I thought I could really forget the times we had together , but it was vivid , even in my dreams..

I look at ur profile , msn previous personal msg.. it makes me feel that I was the one whom pretend that we nv existed tgt , that's why we drifted & therefore u ended up falling for someone else. I nv blamed u for that , bcoz what we had in front of us was a huge obstacle , someday u hv to gv me up coz from the start , we knew there will definitely be an end.
However , we chose to carry on , ending up hurting myself when u told me to move on.
The pain is still there , feels like I'm still in hell

I dunno if what I'm actually thinking of it what is actually happening.. but to me that's how it's like it's being visualised in my mind..

I would really want to move on , but at times I held back , wishing that we could hv another chance.
But maybe now, his love for u is all u know..
Sunday, October 3, 2010
@ 3:38 PM
hey ppl I'm back !

well I didn't blog partly bcoz of attachment, too tired to do so..

Also it's bcoz my thoughts were being unsettled , heart was shattered into pieces almost a wk ago instantly juz by a text msg reply.

Actually it wasn't even a reply , it was juz a text to ask me to let go of everything we once had..
On the day itself , I couldn't help it but teared awhile after my attachment is over.
After all the times we spent tgt , over the wkends.. it all cames to an end juz like that.

When I was around with u ytd with everyone of our family members , I felt as if I was invisible to u. It juz saddens my heart even more , at the very least u could still talk to me right..

I believe that I'm telling myself even single minute right now that we're not meant to be anymore.. giving myself personal comfort as I couldn't absorb much from whatever everyone had tried to comfort me with.
If this is what u really wan , or maybe u're putting me thru a test whatsoever, then let it be.
I'll get myself over u..

But at the very least , treat me like I'm actually there..

Goodbye my dearest..